I can’t believe how quick time goes by since becoming a mother. Only three and a bit short years ago my life changed exponentially when my daughter slid into my world rather tiny and six weeks early. Only three months ago my daughter started three year old kindergarten (much to her dislike) and only eight months ago I started my own part time business from home or “went back to work” if you like.
After having more than two and half years off work I was very much looking forward to having something of my own again. I threw myself into it with such excitement and vigour that I started to become addicted to my time out of the house, helping and meeting other amazing mums. I just loved having lots of adult conversation. Miss Mimi hasn’t exactly missed out on my time or attention from it. She loves spending one on one time with her dad or grandparents when I work but after all this time I really thought that I would have had more organisational skills.
It would seem that I totally don’t. I am always wondering how on earth mothers who work out of the home full time have any kind of work/family balance going on let alone any wits left about them at the end of the day. Trying to get kids out of the house on time, beating traffic, work politics, rushing home…it’s so overwhelming to me.
But I know it can be done because I have many good friends who do it. But as any good friend can see, I am aware that they are stressed too. I know the guilt they put on themselves for putting their precious ones in care, either in a childcare centre or with the grandparents. I know that they struggle to get the washing done, dinners on the tables, lunches done, ironing their husbands shirts and the fly by visits to the supermarket to get the groceries. All that before they can even consider sitting down with their kids or making time for their spouses or friends. And time for themselves? Forget it. I admire very much the amazing super mums I know who work full time but I certainly don’t envy them. Thank goodness I pick my own hours to work but even then I am still finding it hard to spend quality hours with Miss Mimi and clean the shower. My mind runs faster than it ever has before and it’s not because my husband is nagging me nor are my customers asking too much of me. It’s just me, asking too much of me and I need to realise that it’s ok to just pause and breathe.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this: I reckon working mothers all mothers should make more time for themselves. Time by themselves, time to recharge. I am thinking that perhaps then, our brains will be in a healthier place. Where our lists become more streamlined, our ideas become uncomplicated and our relaxed bodies will be able to shrug off those high expectations we put on upon ourselves. Because at the end of the day, no one is perfect. Perfect would be boring. I am just going to do what I can and be happy, because life as a parent is about going with the flow I think and I am absolutely going to start this new way of thinking asap…like, perhaps tomorrow? It’s just because I really need to get dinner on, bath Miss Mimi, change the bed, read her a story, put away the……