Before I gave birth to my daughter a close girlfriend said to me “You just wait Jade, have a look at how women with children treat you once you are one of them. You become part of the club, the mums club, and you will always be welcome” Politely I would nod and smile but secretly thought she might be delusional. Strangers don’t just welcome you into a club, with no questions, no auditions, no down payments. Especially not one as sacred as Mothers Inc…do they?
My first club that I was allowed to join was the “OMG my waters just broke, my baby isn’t due for another 6 weeks so let’s all lie in hospital beds and cross our legs, asking questions that doctors just can’t answer” club. I lasted in that club for one week..exactly.
Then I gave birth. I was welcomed into the “Special Care Nursery Club for Preemies and Sick Babies” and let me tell you, when it was obvious that I wasn’t to be part of that club for long, the relief I felt was overwhelming. What strong, amazing babies, mothers and fathers they were in that club, some babies fighting for their lives, some losing their battle, others triumphant over such bad odds…I thank the universe everyday that my membership was temporary and that my little girl breezed through her stay.
When we arrived home we were thrilled, happy parents. Ready to take on the world of a newborn. We were full of love and energy and craved our baby like a drug. We would stare at her and breathe her in, tickle her toes to wake her up so we could peer into her eyes. Our world was complete. There was a club for this stage but we were in and out of that one so fast I can’t remember who was in it or what it was called. It may of been “The new parent..don’t know what we are in for” club.
Then came the “I’m so sleep deprived, I’ll kill you if you tell me again that your 4 month old sleeps through the night” club. This club was oh so blurry and a little bit angry, so we decided to leave.
At 7 and a half months Miss Mimi and I were the only ones in the “We failed sleep school” club.
At 11 months of age Miss Mimi started sleeping through and we joined the “Deliriously happy to be a mummy” club. Oh it was nice to have a home.
Through all of these clubs and moments, the most amazing support group I had was my Mothers Group (or Mothers Club) The 6 women that still remain in this club 3 years later have become more than just friends, they are sisters to me, aunties to Mimi. They are part of the village that raises my child, they hold me up when I cannot give one more motherly inch, they have my back and I have theirs. These women will be friends of mine until I am old and each one will hold a special place in my heart. As well as a few other women and my sister and my mum that have become mothering mentors to me in my search for lessons on what not to do, what would I have done without them?
Perhaps we are all united by the amazing feat of giving birth, perhaps it’s the common goal for wanting what’s best for our little ones or maybe it’s simply that we realise parenting, although extremely rewarding, is very hard work. We don’t always know what we are doing or if what we are doing is right, but if one mum holds another mums hand then none of us are alone. I’m so grateful for these clubs out there. So thankful for our common thread, our precious children.